October 7, 2013

Own your fear and forge ahead
TerryOctober 7, 2013 0 comments

"There she comes, open the door”  my aunt would say when she heard my sprinting footsteps and heaving approaching as I run (literally: run) an errand, often a note from my dad to his brother (my uncle). 
I have never understood why my dad and his brothers wrote notes to each other almost daily.  
PS: Sometimes the note was as simple "hello" or  "Let's have lunch this Saturday" or a follow up of a conversation they had earlier. Really. The result of my grandmother raising a close-knit family.
See, I grew up in a typical African homestead. Though each family had their own compound, routines and structures, et ce tera, I pretty much grew up together with my brothers, cousins and extended family.
Back to my night courier.
My dad would come from his workplace in the city at around 6pm. After taking a shower, he'd sit at the table for his evening cup of tea as he wrote a note to my uncle. This was my cue that it was time for our daddy-daughter nightly crossword puzzle filling which I thoroughly enjoyed.  
My hovering around meant that I was often the courier of the 'brotherly communication'. By then, it was almost 7pm and darkness had began to set in. And I had to wait for a read and reply, written or otherwise, from my uncle back to my dad.
This girl is afraid of the slightest hint of darkness. I don't know why I never kept off until the note mission had been completed my one of my two brothers. 

Perhaps because I was, still I'm, daddy's girl who adores the coolest man I know. Perhaps because I was tempting my Kenyan legs to run across the road that separated my uncle's home and ours all the way to an international marathon. Or may be it was because of the laughter my younger cousins broke into as I stood trying to catch my breath  in their living room.
Whatever the reason, my fear of darkness didn't prevent me from operating the family post office.
Fast forward. FEAR is one the greatest monsters I have battled in my adult life. 

Fear of the unknown. Fear of other people's opinion of me. Fear that I'm not good enough or don't know enough. Fear of becoming my greatest self. Fear of ...
Yet I’m still that carefree girl I was in my childhood. Along the way, the real me was covered by layers of fear. 

The embers of the real me were there, but hidden by conformity. 

Since living to my fullest is my passion and purpose, I've made the conscious decision to clear the fear committee out - by acknowledging and owning my fears till they have nothing on me. It's an on-going process that I'm committed to.

Stare your fear in the face and it will shrink down to the size of an ant.
~  Jason Leister

I still have fears, but I no longer pretend that they don't exist neither do I let them rule me or my life, especially because I'm a mom with four wide eyes watching and learning from everything I do.
Feeling the fear and forging ahead any way is surefire way to living the life I desire, Don't you think so?
We all have fears we must deal with. I'm not saying my way of taking my fears head on is the best approach to deal with that which holds us back, but it's the best way I know how.
Even successful people do feel some level of fear and they're able to take steps towards doing forging ahead. And from there, it's just a matter of tweaking things so that fear does not reign supreme, ultimately ending up in success.
Feel the fear and forge ahead.

June 10, 2013

Dubai Moments and Bliss
TerryJune 10, 2013 0 comments

Check in, Ready for flight

View of the desert terrain from

Chilling in the hotel terrace

desert safari

desert safari

Dubai swag :)

Lost adventure
Atlantis swim

Off to the water adventure
Good bye Dubai, ciao!

May 9, 2013

Births & Transformations
TerryMay 9, 2013 0 comments

I am officially a grandmother! No, none of my kids has reached the birds and bees stage!

At the beginning of this month, May 2nd, my cat gave birth to three teeny weeny cute kittens.
Funny thing is, everyone in my household including my cousin who was visiting knew that  the cat was heavily pregnant. Me,  I could see it. How now? The little kitten I got less than a year ago is pregnant? No way! Perhaps like all mothers, the little girl is still a little girl even  when she flies from the nest.

Shock on me and my denial mode when the househelp found the cat Meeeeooowing endlessly in my daughter's drawer that morning. I thought it's her (the cat's) usual love of curling up warmly but then, I noticed her stomach was really enlarged and decided to take precaution.

I went to the outdoor store and made a 'birthing station' using an old pillow. Still in denial, I thought the cat probably wanted some cheese, which she loves, and I had exhausted my cheese slices. I went on with my day as usual ignoring the whining cat and even took a nap.

At around 2pm,my daughter woke me up with excitement that the cat had given birth and that we needed to call daddy and inform him. She was bubbling and restless. I went out to check and true, there lay the cutest sight ever! My usually playful cat looked subdued and are those the kittens? they were so tiny, they still are I'm afraid to touch them incase I hurt them

googled photo
I was overwhelmed by joy and I couldn't stop giggling. Like a new grandma, I sent a text message to my cousin and even tweeted of the new additions to our family as I warmed some milk for the new 'mom'. She must have been surprised to see all the effort I was making, and still do, to ensure that she is comfortable.

Previously, I was just tolerant of having an animal but now, I'm a new covert. I'm a pet and animal lover, overnight! (notice how it's MY cat, MY kittens).

Having a child, human or animal, makes you and those around feel special. I am a living testimony to that!

As a practicing christian, a new birth is one of the foremost doctrines. It is a glorious miracle that is given unto us. It signifies transformation and brings about new priorities.

... behold the new has come ...

As wooo wooo as this sounds, my cat giving birth was a very spiritual time for me. heck! I even went into gratitude and meditation.

Yours truly, new grand ma :)

May 2, 2013

Living with Grace and Ease
TerryMay 2, 2013 0 comments

I am starting to get it! Life does not have to be a struggle. We are meant to enjoy life and live fabulously while we are on earth. We are children of the most High, the Almighty God, aren't we? We are co-heir together with Christ, aren't we? YES!

If this is so, and I believe it is so, why then should I live a mediocre or unfulfilled life? The belief systems of many people is that only when we get to the eternal paradise will we live in bliss. I say BS! This belief systems don't serve me no more and henceforth, I let loose.

Each of us can live a life of purpose, bliss and abundance on this very earth. We have within us the power to manifest a divine life on demand. We have with us to tune our thoughts to be in alignment with the life that we desire. All this grace, ease and a big sunny smile :)

I get it now! Like 'Abraham' Hicks says "I am the creator of my own reality.I am the thinker of my thoughts. I am the feeler of my feelings. I am a worthy being."

“You deserve to live the life you were meant to live, and you have the energy to do it.
 It’s time to focus that energy instead of wasting it. 
And by energy I mean your money, time, physical vitality, creativity, enjoyment, and relationships.” 
~Dr. Maria Nemeth 

My personal growth journey that I talked about in my last post here has been profound. I have come across many teachers,mentors and resources that have removed the shutters off my eyes about soul, spirit, intuition  manifesting, awesomeness, living a juicy and holistic life and many more.

And I now get it! Life is about joy, grace and ease! It is about being present and living out loud!

*More posts on http://embraceyourfeminine.wordpress.com/*

April 7, 2013

I know who I AM
TerryApril 7, 2013 0 comments

Being a farmer and an absolutely  fab daughter-in-law, I travel to my village home (on hubby's side) every week to check on my farm projects, workers and my widowed father-in-law. Usually, it's hubby, my two big babies, the homestead folks and I. However, yesterday we received unexpected visitors - two sisters who are my hubby's paternal cousins. I have never met them before.
As the lady of the house and good African hostess, I  welcomed them and served them lunch and refreshments.

As is the custom, when people are not well acquainted, introductions take place. One of the ladies went on launch a full CV on who 'she is'. I realized that she definitely subscribes to the societal definition of who she is. 

When my turn came to introduce myself, I just said my name and of course stated that I am their cousin's wife and mother of the two kids running around in coloured gumboots and left my introduction at that. I could see the ladies 'question mark' looks waiting for more but I was done, and at peace. Whatever else they needed to know is not part of Who I am. 

Perhaps seeing my outer (and very well put together #fresh) look, the ladies expected more. But guess what? That doesn't define me. My circumstances and situations are just that, they are not me. I am not who others say / think I am. I know who I am. I am on a journey of  the authentic me! And this has shifted a paradigm om my own identity.

For the past one month, I have been on a personal growth journey. One of the resources that have been immensely relevant to me is Dr. Cindy Trimm's teaching on  I know who I am. You can watch it here.
I have learnt that I am not my job, I am not the title or label I wear, neither am I the roles and limitations I play.

photo: thelatterdays.blogspot.com

So, in case we meet and I end my introduction at what you would consider to be the barest minimum, know that is Who I am devoid of any hangers on. If you want to know what I am or what I do, just ask. 
I am done with ambiguity on my identity.

googled image

March 12, 2013

It's time to metamorphosize
TerryMarch 12, 2013 0 comments

My dictionary gives several meanings of the word metamorphosis. Some meanings are zoological, others downright witchy and spooky but the one I singled out means a complete change of character, appearance, etc.

I'm starting to get uncomfortable with my situations and a lot of other aspects in my life. I believe discomfort is not a bad thing because it means it is time for me to grow as a person - to become a better me. I still love my life, my family and all the things that matter to me, and that will never change, but I feel like I'm not living at my optimum. Hence the need for metamorphosis.

I am opening myself to a life shift like a butterfly does. Remember your biology lessons? Butterflies go through a life cycle known as complete metamorphosis. The stages of their life cycle include: egg, larva, pupa, and adult.

It is not an easy process. Sometimes I doubt my ability to go through it. And most difficult for me is the patience to go through it. I wish it were like instant coffee or pesa pap but it is not. This however should not and is not a deterrence. Like a butterfly, I will not go into a cocoon.

Some may wonder why I didn't go through the process in January, the proverbial renewal month. But I'm no ordinary girl, you knooow! And sometimes, metamorphosis just happens to you. This is the time that I feel is right for me. This is the time time that somehow I am aligning to resources and people to help and guide me through the process. This is the time when the discomfort feels right. This is it.

Kenya, a land of  butterflies. A photo I took at the Kenya National Museum.

Choose courage instead of letting your fear choose your future for you! 

~Melissa Kirk

January 23, 2013

Embrace it all !
TerryJanuary 23, 2013 0 comments

After watching two episodes of 24 and a Vanessa Williams movie (can’t remember the title) last night, Mr. and I went to bed past mid-night. This is the third night in a row we were sleeping late. “We are adopting the sleeping habits of teenagers” I told hubby. No wonder I didn’t hear him getting out of bed at six to get ready for work. Not to worry, my children woke me up about half an hour later with their usual morning ruckus. 

Five year old baby girl was squabbling with the nanny who was trying to get her ready for school – she didn’t want to get out of her new night robe (it’s hot, pink and vintage!)that I bought for her over the weekend. My almost ten year old baby boy was conversing at the top of his voice as he put on his uniform and getting his stuff from upstairs to downstairs with the loudest footsteps over! Usually, when the ruckus starts, I burst into the living room and threaten to drop their bags off at school then they (the children) will walk to school later.

 Today I just lay in bed. I thought of my friends and relatives who have been on the painful journey of trying to have children with no success. I thought of how I cannot dare miss an appointment at the family planning clinic because, pap! In nine months I’ll be in theatre getting another caesarean. I realised that it’s not about my glass being half full or half empty; it’s that I have a glass and for that I am eternally grateful.

Thought my children are louder that road show campaigns, I quietly thanked God for the gift of children and dedicated my family to the Almighty. And guess what, somehow all the noise disappeared and twenty minutes later my babies were seated in the car ready for school! Oh, and I had managed to iron out a few creases on hubby’s office shirt.

As I get on today’s businesses and all I have to do, one word that is constantly springing in my thoughts is ‘Embrace’. As I look back and meditate on my life and experiences, not all is rosy but I’m gonna gracefully and gratefully embrace it all!
My babies when they were slightly younger *aaawwwwwhhhh*

Embracing all!