I know who I AM TerryApril 7, 2013 0 comments

Being a farmer and an absolutely  fab daughter-in-law, I travel to my village home (on hubby's side) every week to check on my farm projects, workers and my widowed father-in-law. Usually, it's hubby, my two big babies, the homestead folks and I. However, yesterday we received unexpected visitors - two sisters who are my hubby's paternal cousins. I have never met them before.

As the lady of the house and good African hostess, I  welcomed them and served them lunch and refreshments.

As is the custom, when people are not well acquainted, introductions take place. One of the ladies went on launch a full CV on who 'she is'. I realized that she definitely subscribes to the societal definition of who she is. 

When my turn came to introduce myself, I just said my name and of course stated that I am their cousin's wife and mother of the two kids running around in coloured gumboots and left my introduction at that. I could see the ladies 'question mark' looks waiting for more but I was done, and at peace. Whatever else they needed to know is not part of Who I am. 

Perhaps seeing my outer (and very well put together #fresh) look, the ladies expected more. But guess what? That doesn't define me. My circumstances and situations are just that, they are not me. I am not who others say / think I am. I know who I am. I am on a journey of  the authentic me! And this has shifted a paradigm om my own identity.

For the past one month, I have been on a personal growth journey. One of the resources that have been immensely relevant to me is Dr. Cindy Trimm's teaching on  I know who I am. You can watch it here.

I have learnt that I am not my job, I am not the title or label I wear, neither am I the roles and limitations I play.

photo: thelatterdays.blogspot.com

So, in case we meet and I end my introduction at what you would consider to be the barest minimum, know that is Who I am devoid of any hangers on. If you want to know what I am or what I do, just ask. 

I am done with ambiguity on my identity.

googled image

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It's time to metamorphosize TerryMarch 12, 2013 0 comments

My dictionary gives several meanings of the word metamorphosis. Some meanings are zoological, others downright witchy and spooky but the one I singled out means a complete change of character, appearance, etc.

I'm starting to get uncomfortable with my situations and a lot of other aspects in my life. I believe discomfort is not a bad thing because it means it is time for me to grow as a person - to become a better me. I still love my life, my family and all the things that matter to me, and that will never change, but I feel like I'm not living at my optimum. Hence the need for metamorphosis.

I am opening myself to a life shift like a butterfly does. Remember your biology lessons? Butterflies go through a life cycle known as complete metamorphosis. The stages of their life cycle include: egg, larva, pupa, and adult.

It is not an easy process. Sometimes I doubt my ability to go through it. And most difficult for me is the patience to go through it. I wish it were like instant coffee or pesa pap but it is not. This however should not and is not a deterrence. Like a butterfly, I will not go into a cocoon.

Some may wonder why I didn't go through the process in January, the proverbial renewal month. But I'm no ordinary girl, you knooow! And sometimes, metamorphosis just happens to you. This is the time that I feel is right for me. This is the time time that somehow I am aligning to resources and people to help and guide me through the process. This is the time when the discomfort feels right. This is it.

Kenya, a land of  butterflies. A photo I took at the Kenya National Museum.

Choose courage instead of letting your fear choose your future for you! 

~Melissa Kirk

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Embrace it all ! TerryJanuary 23, 2013 0 comments

After watching two episodes of 24 and a Vanessa Williams movie (can’t remember the title) last night, Mr. and I went to bed past mid-night. This is the third night in a row we were sleeping late. “We are adopting the sleeping habits of teenagers” I told hubby. No wonder I didn’t hear him getting out of bed at six to get ready for work. Not to worry, my children woke me up about half an hour later with their usual morning ruckus. 

Five year old baby girl was squabbling with the nanny who was trying to get her ready for school – she didn’t want to get out of her new night robe (it’s hot, pink and vintage!)that I bought for her over the weekend. My almost ten year old baby boy was conversing at the top of his voice as he put on his uniform and getting his stuff from upstairs to downstairs with the loudest footsteps over! Usually, when the ruckus starts, I burst into the living room and threaten to drop their bags off at school then they (the children) will walk to school later.

 Today I just lay in bed. I thought of my friends and relatives who have been on the painful journey of trying to have children with no success. I thought of how I cannot dare miss an appointment at the family planning clinic because, pap! In nine months I’ll be in theatre getting another caesarean. I realised that it’s not about my glass being half full or half empty; it’s that I have a glass and for that I am eternally grateful.

Thought my children are louder that road show campaigns, I quietly thanked God for the gift of children and dedicated my family to the Almighty. And guess what, somehow all the noise disappeared and twenty minutes later my babies were seated in the car ready for school! Oh, and I had managed to iron out a few creases on hubby’s office shirt.

As I get on today’s businesses and all I have to do, one word that is constantly springing in my thoughts is ‘Embrace’. As I look back and meditate on my life and experiences, not all is rosy but I’m gonna gracefully and gratefully embrace it all!

My babies when they were slightly younger *aaawwwwwhhhh*

Embracing all!
 

 

 

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Out of the box TerryDecember 4, 2012 0 comments

Do I have the patience to do it? Do I want to take a path that I have never previously considered? Can I really afford it? Do I want to do it? How about the other thing I planned on doing?

These are some of the questions that ran helter-skelter in my mind, disturbing my peace. It all started when my Broadcast Scriptwriting lecturer challenged me to go a step further and turn my script into a film. You see, film making ranks very low on the avenues I want to pursue. To be honest, I only took the class because it is compulsory; I’d have opted for short television features – that I can do.  However, as usual with all my classes, I give it my very best. At the beginning of each semester, I purpose to enjoy and learn from all my classes. This is what I did and I have to admit, I enjoyed writing script more that I thought I would. I’m sure I learnt a lot too because my review didn’t have too many red comments, but film making?

I presented my final draft yesterday morning and it went something like this:

Lecturer: Are you taking a project class next semester?

Me: Yes.

Lecturer: I am willing to contribute my money towards the production of this script.

Me: eeeeh, uummhhm, eeh. I wouldn’t know where to find the cast.

Lecturer: I am serious Terry. Think about it, speak to Baba watoto and let me know.

Me: Yes sir, I will think about it.

I was flattered that this very critical man thinks my script is fantastic for a production. That was until the reality of production set in and the questions wouldn’t just let me be.

I shared the thought with the mister as we were going home in the evening. I told him about the resource and constraints involved in film making. I left the good that could come out of it. The thought of transforming my script into a film was scary.

But as the good book says “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”    I think today I woke up with my morning. I am seriously considering the challenge. I say considering because I am in a process, I have not reached the destination of a made up mind.

I have been answering the helter-skelter questions in equal measure. Yes, I have what it takes. Ye s, I can still do my earlier planned project and take on the production as an independent film. And who said I cannot get funding to do the film? Haven’t I always expressed my wish to be a media entrepreneur / job creator rather than a job seeker? This might be the beginning of a mogul.

I am realising that I have put myself in a box of future plans yet my future is as grand as I would dream of it to be, it is unlimited!

The things that hold you back are finite and limited,

yet the dreams that push you forward have no such limits.

~ Ralph Marston‏

 

I am purposing to speak to myself of the possibilities and opportunities that producing my script  hold, and I know I’ll get there!

 

http://tradingphrases.com/Religious-And-Spiritual-p4.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Serenity TerryDecember 1, 2012 0 comments

I was writing a post two hours past my deadline then baang! I hit the wrong button and it all disappears so just say the serenity prayer with me

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

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5 Things That Keep Us Forever Young TerryNovember 22, 2012 0 comments

1. Cultivate self awareness

Know who you are then bring it into oneness the body, mind and deeds because our soul does not want us to be in conflict or ill!

2. Laugh

Laugh…because it feels awesome! It spreads good vibes everywhere and it promotes

loads of yummy sensations and vibrations throughout the body. Yeah!

 

3. Sing (or at least speak with passion and heart).

Sing, hum, chant, cry out…just let it out. 

Don’t be afraid, there is no right or wrong. We are born with this beautiful

instrument; our voice. 

We are meant to use it. Speak with love and inspiration…it’s pretty much the same

as singing.

Also, it feels good. Don’t hold it all in…let it out – it’s good for you!

 

4. Move

Bad posture can lead to really deformed spines. Bitterness can lead to a permanently

miserable looking expression on one’s face. As long as you’re alive, move. Even if it’s

just wiggling your fingers, your toes and your nose…just keep moving!

 

5. Love

…it all. That includes and really starts with you! Make a conscious choice to love

everything…the good, the bad and the ugly. It keeps you more filled with joy, as 

opposed to hating it all, which will just make you old, bitter and dis-eased!

 

embrace these five things everyday

and enjoy eternal youth!

**adapted from http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4147/5-Things-That-Keep-Us-Forever-Young.html **

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Being 30 TerryAugust 30, 2012 0 comments

One day, my sisters-in-laws and I were having a good 'girl' time while sharing snippets of wisdom. They are much older than I am and so we often don't have the same opinion on how to handle certain issues. One of them said something about the ability to let go, I wondered out loud why I would let by-gones be by-gones especially with someone who has/had offended. My sister-in-law just chuckled and said I would see her perspective in future. She added that she wasn't always of the opinions she now held but rather, they are a result of wisdom over the years.

Well, the day has come, I share a lot of her opinions. Not because we are closer in age, we will never be- but because I have been through the school of life and experiences. I am no longer that hot-blooded young girl who dished as equally as she got. I no longer retaliate in equal measure but rather let my ' niceness' be the prosecutor and jury. I have no time or space in life or heart to carry other people's burden. I am living my life baggage free, from now henceforth.

As I approach the 3-0, I am at peace with myself. I have no regrets, neither will I hide from anything no matter how tempted I might be. My teens were a crazy adventure and my 20's tumultuous , my 30's will be another story - A time to let Terry be Terry

I am counting my blessings, being 30 is the greatest!

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